T
加载中...
加载中...
We have a lot of catching up to do.
我们有很多要补上的。
My 2026 vision board. Are we kidding?
我的2026年愿景板。我们在开玩笑吗？
That's something I'm going to be working on in 2026.
这是我在2026年要做的事情。
Hey guys, what is up? Welcome back to my YouTube channel. If you guys do not follow me on anything else like Instagram, Tik Tok, we have a lot of
嘿大家，怎么样？欢迎回到我的YouTube频道。如果你们没有在其他地方关注我，比如Instagram、TikTok，
catching up to do. And this is my first weeklyish vlog of 2026. Like it is currently January 2026. It's a few days before my birthday. My birthday's on
我们有很多要补上的。这是我2026年的第一个周更vlog。现在是2026年1月。
January 8th if you guys don't know. I don't know when exactly this vlog is going to be going up. But I am starting this kind of as like my first week of
还有几天就是我的生日了。我的生日是1月8日，如果你们不知道的话。
2026 vlog even though I'm starting 4 days into January. But basically little life update. I had a surgery on December 30th. So it was right before New Year's
我不知道这个vlog什么时候会上传。但我把这当作我2026年的第一周vlog，
Eve. Wanted to get it out of the way and leave it in 2025. I basically had a revision surgery to my preventative double masectomy that I had back in
虽然我是从1月4日开始的。基本上是个生活更新。我在12月30日做了手术。
2024. I kind of didn't really talk about it online at all. I just wanted to get it over with and I didn't know necessarily if I was going to share
就在新年前夜之前。想把它处理完，留在2025年。
about it or not. And then ultimately I decided that I should because I obviously shared a lot about the original surgery that I had 2 years ago.
我基本上做了我2024年做的预防性双乳切除术的修复手术。
And I just felt like it was only right because I remember getting so many messages from girls who were either in the same boat as me or were like going
我在网上基本上没有谈论过这件事。我只想把它做完，
and getting tested and possibly were going to have to do the same thing that I did. And all those messages made me feel so happy because in the messages
我不确定是否要分享。最终我决定应该分享，
they were saying that it made them feel less alone and just spreading awareness in general is so important about this stuff. So, I just felt like I
因为我显然分享了很多关于我两年前做的原始手术。
needed to and I obviously wanted to wait until I was, you know, ready to talk about it and now I feel like I am because I am what almost a week posttop
我只是觉得这是对的，因为我记得收到很多女孩的消息，
and today is the first day that I'm actually like feeling good and like that I'm on the track of like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Like I
她们要么和我情况一样，要么正在去做检查，可能也要做和我一样的事。
put makeup on for the first time this morning in like over a week. So like I'm already feeling more like myself and I showered. I don't know. I just feel like
所有这些消息让我感到非常开心，因为在消息中
I'm finally starting my like real healing journey and starting the year today. My New Year's is starting today.
她们说这让她们感觉不那么孤单，总的来说，传播关于这些事情的意识非常重要。
I had a little bit of a delay cuz I was recovering this whole week and honestly I was very miserable. I'll I'll touch more on that. But yeah, I just
所以，我只是觉得我需要这样做，显然我想等到我准备好谈论它，
wanted to update you guys that that is what I did. I did have a revision surgery. Basically, long story short, first surgery that I had, I did a direct
现在我觉得我准备好了，因为我术后快一周了，
implant masectomy. So basically all in one surgery they took everything out, put in implants. When you do that since it's kind of like a major surgery, it's
今天是第一天，我真的感觉很好，感觉我看到了隧道尽头的曙光。
not guaranteed that it's going to heal and be perfect. Like it's not like a regular boob job where like they can take their time and make it look exactly
我今天早上第一次化妆，已经超过一周了。
how you want it to and make them look perfect. It's very different. And honestly, I don't even really know that much about the scientific reasoning and
所以我已经感觉更像我自己了，我也洗了澡。我不知道。我只是觉得
stuff, but if you want to look up what a masectomy is, just look it up because it'll make sense. Long story short, the way that my implants healed were just
我终于开始我真正的康复之旅，今天开始新的一年。我的新年从今天开始。
kind of like not to my liking. Like they weren't bad necessarily and there was honestly a period where I was like, I think I'm just going to leave them cuz I
我有点延迟，因为我整个星期都在康复，说实话我很痛苦。
didn't want to have to put myself through another surgery. But as time went on and I honestly grew a little bit of an insecurity around them because
我会更多地谈到这个。但是的，我只是想更新你们，这就是我做的。
they kind of healed uneven. Like they looked a little lopsided, I guess I can say. There obviously was an option for me to go and get them fixed. But you
我做了修复手术。基本上，长话短说，我第一次手术，我做了直接植入乳房切除术。
guys know me, I'm an anxious curly. And for so long, I was just putting it off.
所以基本上在一次手术中，他们取出所有东西，放入植入物。
For literally 2 years, I was putting it off and like not scheduling the surgery or really thinking about it too much because I just when I feel anxious about
当你这样做时，因为这是一个大手术，不能保证它会愈合并完美。
something, I like to push it off and not think about it for as long as I possibly could. But as you guys know, I just got
它不像普通的隆胸手术，他们可以慢慢来，让它看起来完全符合你的要求，让它们看起来完美。
engaged. I'm going to be getting married soon. And I had went to a little checkup appointment with my plastic surgeon back in I think it was November. And the
这很不同。说实话，我甚至不太了解科学原理，
nurse was like, "Girl, you're 25 years old. You're so young. First of all, you just went through an insane thing that not many 25 year olds, or at the time I
但如果你想了解什么是乳房切除术，就去查一下，因为这会说得通。
was like 24 or 23. Not many young girls like you have to go through something as traumatic as like what you went through.
长话短说，我的植入物愈合的方式不太符合我的喜好。
You should at least come out the other end and like like your boobs. You should like the results of them. You shouldn't just live with something that you're not
它们不一定很糟糕，说实话有一段时间我想，我就这样吧，
happy with." And like I said, over the course of the two years, I did form like an insecurity over them because I couldn't wear certain shirts. Like I did
因为我不想再经历一次手术。但随着时间推移，
manage to hide it pretty well, I think.
我对它们确实形成了一些不安全感，因为它们愈合得不均匀。
I don't know. Hopefully I did because like in certain shirts or if I like wore things a certain way, it wasn't as noticeable. But obviously at the end of
它们看起来有点不对称，我想我可以这么说。
the day, I noticed them and that's all that matters. And I was like not really happy with them. So when I went to that appointment, she was like, "You should
显然我有选择去修复它们。但你们了解我，我是个焦虑的人。
just do it. Like you are so young. Get it out of the way. you should be happy, you should choose yourself, you know?
这么长时间，我只是在拖延。
So, I feel like that kind of really opened my eyes to it and I realized I was really just letting my anxiety win for all of this time of like putting off
整整两年，我一直在拖延，没有安排手术，也没有想太多，
thinking about doing it or even scheduling doing it. So, that day I scheduled it and I chose to do December 30th because I wanted it to be like I
因为当我感到焦虑时，我喜欢把它推开，尽可能长时间不去想它。
said left in 2025. I just wanted to get it out of the way and obviously this time of year is like everyone's doing nothing really and just chilling. It's
但正如你们所知，我刚刚订婚了。我很快就要结婚了。
cold outside. this is probably the best time to be recovering from something. So that was my mindset and I scheduled it and I literally just forced myself to go
我在11月左右去看了我的整形外科医生做了一次小检查。
and do it. So yeah, that is what I did.
护士说，"女孩，你25岁了。你这么年轻。首先，
I honestly have been healing really really well. I just was kind of struggling in my recovery because the antibiotic that they put me on was like
你刚刚经历了一件疯狂的事，不是很多25岁的人，或者当时我
really hurting my stomach and it was making the recovery process literally awful. Like so terrible. So awful. And I have, like I said, really bad anxiety
是24或23岁。不是很多像你这样的年轻女孩必须经历像你经历的那样创伤性的事情。
around my health. And so, especially when my stomach isn't feeling good, I spiral to no end. Like, I'm so serious.
你至少应该从另一端走出来，喜欢你的胸部。你应该喜欢它们的结果。
It really got really bad for me mentally. And I feel like it was making my recovery worse and the way that I was feeling worse because my mental state
你不应该只是忍受你不满意的东西。"
was worse, if that makes sense. It was like a big snowball effect. I could like literally feel it happening within my body that I was just really spiraling
就像我说的，在这两年中，我确实对它们形成了不安全感，
and really in a low place. But I'm grateful for it now that I'm like kind of on the way out of it because it really helps me have like a big mental
因为我不能穿某些衬衫。我想我设法隐藏得相当好。
breakthrough. I think where my 2026 major goal is going to be to actually get help for my anxiety and not just like keep putting it off cuz I've always
我不知道。希望我做到了，因为像在某些衬衫中，或者如果我以某种方式穿衣服，
said that I was going to try to do therapy or I was going to try just different versions of therapy that could potentially help with my anxiety and
它不那么明显。但显然在一天结束时，我注意到了它们，这才是最重要的。
maybe just other mental health stuff that I struggle with all the time. And I've just never done it. I always just say it and then never do it. So, it
我对它们不太满意。所以当我去那次预约时，她说，"你应该就做吧。
really helped me have like a big mental breakthrough where I was like, "No, in 2026, I'm going to actually get help, actually just try things. Whether I like
你这么年轻。把它处理完。你应该快乐，你应该选择自己，你知道吗？"
it or not, whether they work or not, I don't know, but we're actually going to try. Like, I really want to, you know, maybe try to find a therapist. I don't
所以，我觉得这真的让我睁开了眼睛，我意识到我真的只是让我的焦虑赢了，
know. It's always been something that scared me, but I think that I need to just try and see." Yeah. I feel like grateful that I went through that
在这整个时间里，拖延思考做这件事，甚至安排做这件事。
experience even though it sucked because I had a little breakthrough. And I think it's going to be good moving forward. I I feel like very excited for this next
所以，那天我安排了，我选择12月30日，因为我想把它留在2025年。
new year because I think I'm going to really take back my life and take a hold of my health in just every way, mind, body, soul. I want to completely
我只想把它处理完，显然每年的这个时候，每个人都没做什么，只是在放松。
heal and be on like a huge journey of just putting myself first and my mental health and my real health, just everything, you know? I want to really
外面很冷。这可能是从某件事中康复的最佳时间。
stop running from things because you know when they say either like in a situation it's either fight or flight.
所以这就是我的心态，我安排了，我真的只是强迫自己去做了。
I've always been the light. Like I will get out of there. Out of sight, out of mind. I will not put up a fight. I will
所以是的，这就是我做的。
just leave. And whether that's like taking it out of my mind and not thinking about it and like letting my emotions just like build up and build up
说实话，我康复得真的很好。
or just like physically like I'm not confronting anything that I need to confront. I want to stop doing that in 2026. I want to actually just do things
我只是在康复中有点挣扎，因为他们给我开的抗生素
headon and take care of them and like not stress about them. I want to feel peace. So, that leads me to today. Now that I feel a little bit good and I was
真的让我的胃很痛，这让康复过程真的很糟糕。
able to like do some makeup, I'm still in my pajamas, but like that's fine. I want to be cozy. I want to do things that will help me get to just my healing
就像太糟糕了。太糟糕了。
goals. So, today I really wanted to clean up, maybe like completely clean the kitchen and the couch. I'll show you guys. It's honestly a huge ginormous
我有，就像我说的，非常严重的健康焦虑。
mess because it's just been my recovery den for about a week now. And Sam has been so helpful. Like I don't know where I would be without him truly because he
所以，特别是当我的胃感觉不好时，我会无限地陷入恐慌。
has been like really really helpful to not only just taking care of me physically, but talk me down from all of my panic attacks that I've had this
就像，我是认真的。
week, which I think I broke a record for. I don't know how many in total that I had, but like I definitely broke some kind of record. But we've spent all of
对我来说，心理上真的变得很糟糕。
our time in here. I slept on the couch for like a week. Me and Sam slept on this couch, which it's not the most comfortable couch to sleep on
我觉得这让我的康复变得更糟，我的感觉也更糟，因为我的心理状态更糟，
necessarily. So, like I also just feel so grateful for him that he did that for me cuz I know probably was not comfortable, but both me and Sam slept
如果这说得通的话。这就像一个大的雪球效应。
on this couch. So, it's like a mess. The kitchen is just has things everywhere.
我真的能感觉到它在我体内发生，我真的在陷入恐慌，
The table, like everything just needs to be kind of straightened up. And I think that would be a good first step for me to just clean up and like reset the
真的处于一个低谷。但我现在很感激，因为我现在有点走出来了，
home. So, here's what we're working with. We got to We got to fix a wrapper.
因为它真的帮助我有了一个大的心理突破。
That's what I'm going to do. I've honestly luckily had a lot of mobility in my arms. Like last surgery, I was really not able to move my arms like
我想我2026年的主要目标将是真正为我的焦虑寻求帮助，
past this. But this time around, I have like a lot more arm mobility and I could pick things up as long as they're lighter than 5 lb. So, I feel like I
而不是只是继续拖延，因为我总是说我要尝试做治疗，
should be good to like clean up this. I just have to be careful and I'll probably be like moving around like a robot a little bit, but that's okay. We
或者我要尝试不同版本的治疗，可能有助于我的焦虑，
just opened up some packages. So, like we have all this stuff here. We ordered some decorations and little 26 candles because my birthday is coming up. Like I
也许还有其他我一直在挣扎的心理健康问题。
said, it's in 4 days. So, got to put this away. Let's just straighten this place up and start there.
我从来没有做过。我总是只是说，然后从不做。
>> >> Hey, hey, hey.
所以，它真的帮助我有了一个大的心理突破，
>> >> Now that I've done that, I'm actually exhausted. That was like the most activity I've done in a while. And my back hurts a little bit. But I've been
我说，"不，在2026年，我要真正寻求帮助，真正尝试一些事情。
really, really wanting to do my vision board. Like usually by now I have it done already and I really really want to do it. So I think I'm just going to try
无论我喜欢与否，无论它们是否有效，我不知道，但我们要真正尝试。
and just relax and do it on the couch.
就像，我真的想，你知道，也许尝试找一个治疗师。
So, I have my old vision board from last year. I'm going to take it apart and do my new one on this exact same board.
我不知道。这总是让我害怕的事情，但我想我需要尝试看看。"
It's kind of like a pin board. I also like use tape, but I think this year I'm going to use pins cuz the tape doesn't
是的。我觉得很感激我经历了那个经历，即使它很糟糕，
really work that well. But anyways, I'm going to take off all of these. I think I'm going to save and keep on maybe one or two of them that I want to continue
因为我有了一个小突破。我认为这将对未来有好处。
to keep on my vision board. But for most of the new 2026 pictures, I printed out a bunch from Pinterest that I hand selected when I was recovering. It
我对这个新的一年感到非常兴奋，因为我想我真的要重新掌控我的生活，
actually was good to keep my mind off of it. I just went on Pinterest and I found a bunch of pictures that closely portrayed my 2026 goals. Because on New
在各个方面掌控我的健康，思想、身体、灵魂。
Year's Eve, me and Sam wrote down a bunch of our New Year's resolutions and New Year's goals and all stuff like that and like things that we want to achieve
我想完全康复，在一个巨大的旅程中，把自己放在第一位，
this year. I wrote down like a very detailed list. So, I wanted my vision board this year to kind of portray that and be as detailed as it possibly could.
我的心理健康和我的真正健康，所有的一切，你知道吗？
My back is killing me. That was like really something I was not expecting.
我想真正停止逃避事情，因为你知道当他们说，
Well, once it happened, I kind of remember that last surgery. I felt this way when I was recovering, but I wasn't expecting the back pain that I feel.
在某种情况下，要么是战斗，要么是逃跑。
It's like as if I worked out my back all day long for 24 hours straight and then like it was the next day and I was sore
我一直是逃跑的那个。就像我会离开那里。眼不见，心不烦。
from the workout that I did. That's how it feels. like every part of me and like I can't even really stretch obviously.
我不会战斗。我会离开。
So, it just really hurts. And I've been literally on a heating pad for I don't even know how many hours in a row. I think I might need to go get it again.
无论那是把它从我的脑海中移除，不去想它，
But when Sam gets back from the gym, maybe he'll help me. I don't know. But I'm going to just try and chill and do my vision board. I'm going to maybe put
让我的情绪只是积累再积累，或者只是身体上，我不面对任何我需要面对的事情。
on my little sound frequencies that I like to listen to that are calming while I do it. I also like to cut up the pictures that I put on here
我想在2026年停止这样做。我想真正地正面处理事情，
so that way it looks cute and I can position them how I want. So that's kind of what I'm going to do right now.
照顾它们，不要为它们感到压力。我想感到平静。
>> >> Okay, guys. Here it is. My 2026 vision board all fall complete. I'm obsessed with it. I think it looks so so good.
所以，这让我来到今天。现在我感觉好一点了，我能够化点妆，
The only things I really kept the same were like these few because these have been well these two specifically have been on my vision boards for many years.
我还穿着睡衣，但没关系。我想舒适。
The exact photos and that's fine because I feel like these are just like more long-term goals that I know will take a little bit longer. Like hitting a
我想做一些能帮助我达到康复目标的事情。
million on YouTube is going to be crazy.
所以，今天我真的想清理，也许完全清理厨房和沙发。
Like I don't even know how long that will take me. But I will never give it up. So I'm going to keep it on my vision
我会给你们看。说实话，这是一个巨大的混乱，
board. Same with going to Italy. Like I don't care how long it takes me to achieve it. it will always be on my mission board. And just like a few
因为它现在已经是我的康复窝大约一周了。
others that I really liked always looking at, but most of them are different. So, here it is. I really love how it came out. The most annoying thing
Sam一直很有帮助。就像我不知道没有他我会在哪里，真的，
about recovering from a surgery, I think, is like, well, actually, no, I take that back before I even say it.
因为他不仅在身体上照顾我，还让我从这周所有的恐慌发作中平静下来，
There was a lot more annoying things than this, so let me just backtrack. But a annoying thing is how out of breath I feel like I get from like just talking
我想我打破了记录。我不知道总共有多少，
and saying a simple sentence. But me and Sam have obviously have just been he's been sitting with me all day long. So, we both really haven't done
但我肯定打破了某种记录。但我们把所有时间都花在这里了。
much and that definitely takes a toll on your body cuz like I feel like we're both so used to always working out and like go go go. Like I was telling them
我在沙发上睡了大约一周。我和Sam睡在这个沙发上，
before, I literally when I cleaned the kitchen didn't even really do much. Just put everything away and wipe it down. I was like literally felt like I worked
这不是最舒适的沙发。
out. I ate it. Sam has been the best ever. Just so many times I remember thinking like where would I be without you? I'm so happy that we're getting
所以，我也只是对他为我这样做感到非常感激，
>> You're gonna marry me.
因为我知道可能不舒服，但我和Sam都睡在这个沙发上。
>> You're not going to back out.
所以，这很乱。厨房到处都是东西。
>> Like you know when people say like you really know if you are marrying the right person >> when you like go through hard times
桌子，所有东西都需要整理一下。
>> and it's true.
我认为这对我来说是一个好的第一步，只是清理和重置家。
>> That's so sweet.
所以，这就是我们要处理的。我们得修复一个包装。
>> Yeah, we are sweet. We're going to make a nice Sunday dinner tonight. It's like pasta. Sam wants to make meatballs.
这就是我要做的。说实话，幸运的是，我的手臂活动能力很强。
>> I'm making balls.
就像上次手术，我真的不能移动我的手臂超过这个。
>> I say we, but it's really going to be Sam. Anywho, now that Sam is home and I finished the vision board, I think he's
但这次，我的手臂活动能力更强，我可以拿起东西，只要它们比5磅轻。
going to hang it for me because the one thing I didn't do last year, even in my old bedroom when I actually, yeah, in my
所以，我觉得我应该能够清理这个。
old bedroom, cuz I started 2025, still living at home, I never hung my Wait, no, yes, I did. What am I saying? We did hang the vision board up. It was in my
我只是要小心，我可能会像机器人一样移动一点，但没关系。
点击句子跳转到对应位置
We have a lot of catching up to do.
我们有很多要补上的。
My 2026 vision board. Are we kidding?
我的2026年愿景板。我们在开玩笑吗？
That's something I'm going to be working on in 2026.
这是我在2026年要做的事情。
Hey guys, what is up? Welcome back to my YouTube channel. If you guys do not follow me on anything else like Instagram, Tik Tok, we have a lot of
嘿大家，怎么样？欢迎回到我的YouTube频道。如果你们没有在其他地方关注我，比如Instagram、TikTok，
catching up to do. And this is my first weeklyish vlog of 2026. Like it is currently January 2026. It's a few days before my birthday. My birthday's on
我们有很多要补上的。这是我2026年的第一个周更vlog。现在是2026年1月。
January 8th if you guys don't know. I don't know when exactly this vlog is going to be going up. But I am starting this kind of as like my first week of
还有几天就是我的生日了。我的生日是1月8日，如果你们不知道的话。
2026 vlog even though I'm starting 4 days into January. But basically little life update. I had a surgery on December 30th. So it was right before New Year's
我不知道这个vlog什么时候会上传。但我把这当作我2026年的第一周vlog，
Eve. Wanted to get it out of the way and leave it in 2025. I basically had a revision surgery to my preventative double masectomy that I had back in
虽然我是从1月4日开始的。基本上是个生活更新。我在12月30日做了手术。
2024. I kind of didn't really talk about it online at all. I just wanted to get it over with and I didn't know necessarily if I was going to share
就在新年前夜之前。想把它处理完，留在2025年。
about it or not. And then ultimately I decided that I should because I obviously shared a lot about the original surgery that I had 2 years ago.
我基本上做了我2024年做的预防性双乳切除术的修复手术。
And I just felt like it was only right because I remember getting so many messages from girls who were either in the same boat as me or were like going
我在网上基本上没有谈论过这件事。我只想把它做完，
and getting tested and possibly were going to have to do the same thing that I did. And all those messages made me feel so happy because in the messages
我不确定是否要分享。最终我决定应该分享，
they were saying that it made them feel less alone and just spreading awareness in general is so important about this stuff. So, I just felt like I
因为我显然分享了很多关于我两年前做的原始手术。
needed to and I obviously wanted to wait until I was, you know, ready to talk about it and now I feel like I am because I am what almost a week posttop
我只是觉得这是对的，因为我记得收到很多女孩的消息，
and today is the first day that I'm actually like feeling good and like that I'm on the track of like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Like I
她们要么和我情况一样，要么正在去做检查，可能也要做和我一样的事。
put makeup on for the first time this morning in like over a week. So like I'm already feeling more like myself and I showered. I don't know. I just feel like
所有这些消息让我感到非常开心，因为在消息中
I'm finally starting my like real healing journey and starting the year today. My New Year's is starting today.
她们说这让她们感觉不那么孤单，总的来说，传播关于这些事情的意识非常重要。
I had a little bit of a delay cuz I was recovering this whole week and honestly I was very miserable. I'll I'll touch more on that. But yeah, I just
所以，我只是觉得我需要这样做，显然我想等到我准备好谈论它，
wanted to update you guys that that is what I did. I did have a revision surgery. Basically, long story short, first surgery that I had, I did a direct
现在我觉得我准备好了，因为我术后快一周了，
implant masectomy. So basically all in one surgery they took everything out, put in implants. When you do that since it's kind of like a major surgery, it's
今天是第一天，我真的感觉很好，感觉我看到了隧道尽头的曙光。
not guaranteed that it's going to heal and be perfect. Like it's not like a regular boob job where like they can take their time and make it look exactly
我今天早上第一次化妆，已经超过一周了。
how you want it to and make them look perfect. It's very different. And honestly, I don't even really know that much about the scientific reasoning and
所以我已经感觉更像我自己了，我也洗了澡。我不知道。我只是觉得
stuff, but if you want to look up what a masectomy is, just look it up because it'll make sense. Long story short, the way that my implants healed were just
我终于开始我真正的康复之旅，今天开始新的一年。我的新年从今天开始。
kind of like not to my liking. Like they weren't bad necessarily and there was honestly a period where I was like, I think I'm just going to leave them cuz I
我有点延迟，因为我整个星期都在康复，说实话我很痛苦。
didn't want to have to put myself through another surgery. But as time went on and I honestly grew a little bit of an insecurity around them because
我会更多地谈到这个。但是的，我只是想更新你们，这就是我做的。
they kind of healed uneven. Like they looked a little lopsided, I guess I can say. There obviously was an option for me to go and get them fixed. But you
我做了修复手术。基本上，长话短说，我第一次手术，我做了直接植入乳房切除术。
guys know me, I'm an anxious curly. And for so long, I was just putting it off.
所以基本上在一次手术中，他们取出所有东西，放入植入物。
For literally 2 years, I was putting it off and like not scheduling the surgery or really thinking about it too much because I just when I feel anxious about
当你这样做时，因为这是一个大手术，不能保证它会愈合并完美。
something, I like to push it off and not think about it for as long as I possibly could. But as you guys know, I just got
它不像普通的隆胸手术，他们可以慢慢来，让它看起来完全符合你的要求，让它们看起来完美。
engaged. I'm going to be getting married soon. And I had went to a little checkup appointment with my plastic surgeon back in I think it was November. And the
这很不同。说实话，我甚至不太了解科学原理，
nurse was like, "Girl, you're 25 years old. You're so young. First of all, you just went through an insane thing that not many 25 year olds, or at the time I
但如果你想了解什么是乳房切除术，就去查一下，因为这会说得通。
was like 24 or 23. Not many young girls like you have to go through something as traumatic as like what you went through.
长话短说，我的植入物愈合的方式不太符合我的喜好。
You should at least come out the other end and like like your boobs. You should like the results of them. You shouldn't just live with something that you're not
它们不一定很糟糕，说实话有一段时间我想，我就这样吧，
happy with." And like I said, over the course of the two years, I did form like an insecurity over them because I couldn't wear certain shirts. Like I did
因为我不想再经历一次手术。但随着时间推移，
manage to hide it pretty well, I think.
我对它们确实形成了一些不安全感，因为它们愈合得不均匀。
I don't know. Hopefully I did because like in certain shirts or if I like wore things a certain way, it wasn't as noticeable. But obviously at the end of
它们看起来有点不对称，我想我可以这么说。
the day, I noticed them and that's all that matters. And I was like not really happy with them. So when I went to that appointment, she was like, "You should
显然我有选择去修复它们。但你们了解我，我是个焦虑的人。
just do it. Like you are so young. Get it out of the way. you should be happy, you should choose yourself, you know?
这么长时间，我只是在拖延。
So, I feel like that kind of really opened my eyes to it and I realized I was really just letting my anxiety win for all of this time of like putting off
整整两年，我一直在拖延，没有安排手术，也没有想太多，
thinking about doing it or even scheduling doing it. So, that day I scheduled it and I chose to do December 30th because I wanted it to be like I
因为当我感到焦虑时，我喜欢把它推开，尽可能长时间不去想它。
said left in 2025. I just wanted to get it out of the way and obviously this time of year is like everyone's doing nothing really and just chilling. It's
但正如你们所知，我刚刚订婚了。我很快就要结婚了。
cold outside. this is probably the best time to be recovering from something. So that was my mindset and I scheduled it and I literally just forced myself to go
我在11月左右去看了我的整形外科医生做了一次小检查。
and do it. So yeah, that is what I did.
护士说，"女孩，你25岁了。你这么年轻。首先，
I honestly have been healing really really well. I just was kind of struggling in my recovery because the antibiotic that they put me on was like
你刚刚经历了一件疯狂的事，不是很多25岁的人，或者当时我
really hurting my stomach and it was making the recovery process literally awful. Like so terrible. So awful. And I have, like I said, really bad anxiety
是24或23岁。不是很多像你这样的年轻女孩必须经历像你经历的那样创伤性的事情。
around my health. And so, especially when my stomach isn't feeling good, I spiral to no end. Like, I'm so serious.
你至少应该从另一端走出来，喜欢你的胸部。你应该喜欢它们的结果。
It really got really bad for me mentally. And I feel like it was making my recovery worse and the way that I was feeling worse because my mental state
你不应该只是忍受你不满意的东西。"
was worse, if that makes sense. It was like a big snowball effect. I could like literally feel it happening within my body that I was just really spiraling
就像我说的，在这两年中，我确实对它们形成了不安全感，
and really in a low place. But I'm grateful for it now that I'm like kind of on the way out of it because it really helps me have like a big mental
因为我不能穿某些衬衫。我想我设法隐藏得相当好。
breakthrough. I think where my 2026 major goal is going to be to actually get help for my anxiety and not just like keep putting it off cuz I've always
我不知道。希望我做到了，因为像在某些衬衫中，或者如果我以某种方式穿衣服，
said that I was going to try to do therapy or I was going to try just different versions of therapy that could potentially help with my anxiety and
它不那么明显。但显然在一天结束时，我注意到了它们，这才是最重要的。
maybe just other mental health stuff that I struggle with all the time. And I've just never done it. I always just say it and then never do it. So, it
我对它们不太满意。所以当我去那次预约时，她说，"你应该就做吧。
really helped me have like a big mental breakthrough where I was like, "No, in 2026, I'm going to actually get help, actually just try things. Whether I like
你这么年轻。把它处理完。你应该快乐，你应该选择自己，你知道吗？"
it or not, whether they work or not, I don't know, but we're actually going to try. Like, I really want to, you know, maybe try to find a therapist. I don't
所以，我觉得这真的让我睁开了眼睛，我意识到我真的只是让我的焦虑赢了，
know. It's always been something that scared me, but I think that I need to just try and see." Yeah. I feel like grateful that I went through that
在这整个时间里，拖延思考做这件事，甚至安排做这件事。
experience even though it sucked because I had a little breakthrough. And I think it's going to be good moving forward. I I feel like very excited for this next
所以，那天我安排了，我选择12月30日，因为我想把它留在2025年。
new year because I think I'm going to really take back my life and take a hold of my health in just every way, mind, body, soul. I want to completely
我只想把它处理完，显然每年的这个时候，每个人都没做什么，只是在放松。
heal and be on like a huge journey of just putting myself first and my mental health and my real health, just everything, you know? I want to really
外面很冷。这可能是从某件事中康复的最佳时间。
stop running from things because you know when they say either like in a situation it's either fight or flight.
所以这就是我的心态，我安排了，我真的只是强迫自己去做了。
I've always been the light. Like I will get out of there. Out of sight, out of mind. I will not put up a fight. I will
所以是的，这就是我做的。
just leave. And whether that's like taking it out of my mind and not thinking about it and like letting my emotions just like build up and build up
说实话，我康复得真的很好。
or just like physically like I'm not confronting anything that I need to confront. I want to stop doing that in 2026. I want to actually just do things
我只是在康复中有点挣扎，因为他们给我开的抗生素
headon and take care of them and like not stress about them. I want to feel peace. So, that leads me to today. Now that I feel a little bit good and I was
真的让我的胃很痛，这让康复过程真的很糟糕。
able to like do some makeup, I'm still in my pajamas, but like that's fine. I want to be cozy. I want to do things that will help me get to just my healing
就像太糟糕了。太糟糕了。
goals. So, today I really wanted to clean up, maybe like completely clean the kitchen and the couch. I'll show you guys. It's honestly a huge ginormous
我有，就像我说的，非常严重的健康焦虑。
mess because it's just been my recovery den for about a week now. And Sam has been so helpful. Like I don't know where I would be without him truly because he
所以，特别是当我的胃感觉不好时，我会无限地陷入恐慌。
has been like really really helpful to not only just taking care of me physically, but talk me down from all of my panic attacks that I've had this
就像，我是认真的。
week, which I think I broke a record for. I don't know how many in total that I had, but like I definitely broke some kind of record. But we've spent all of
对我来说，心理上真的变得很糟糕。
our time in here. I slept on the couch for like a week. Me and Sam slept on this couch, which it's not the most comfortable couch to sleep on
我觉得这让我的康复变得更糟，我的感觉也更糟，因为我的心理状态更糟，
necessarily. So, like I also just feel so grateful for him that he did that for me cuz I know probably was not comfortable, but both me and Sam slept
如果这说得通的话。这就像一个大的雪球效应。
on this couch. So, it's like a mess. The kitchen is just has things everywhere.
我真的能感觉到它在我体内发生，我真的在陷入恐慌，
The table, like everything just needs to be kind of straightened up. And I think that would be a good first step for me to just clean up and like reset the
真的处于一个低谷。但我现在很感激，因为我现在有点走出来了，
home. So, here's what we're working with. We got to We got to fix a wrapper.
因为它真的帮助我有了一个大的心理突破。
That's what I'm going to do. I've honestly luckily had a lot of mobility in my arms. Like last surgery, I was really not able to move my arms like
我想我2026年的主要目标将是真正为我的焦虑寻求帮助，
past this. But this time around, I have like a lot more arm mobility and I could pick things up as long as they're lighter than 5 lb. So, I feel like I
而不是只是继续拖延，因为我总是说我要尝试做治疗，
should be good to like clean up this. I just have to be careful and I'll probably be like moving around like a robot a little bit, but that's okay. We
或者我要尝试不同版本的治疗，可能有助于我的焦虑，
just opened up some packages. So, like we have all this stuff here. We ordered some decorations and little 26 candles because my birthday is coming up. Like I
也许还有其他我一直在挣扎的心理健康问题。
said, it's in 4 days. So, got to put this away. Let's just straighten this place up and start there.
我从来没有做过。我总是只是说，然后从不做。
>> >> Hey, hey, hey.
所以，它真的帮助我有了一个大的心理突破，
>> >> Now that I've done that, I'm actually exhausted. That was like the most activity I've done in a while. And my back hurts a little bit. But I've been
我说，"不，在2026年，我要真正寻求帮助，真正尝试一些事情。
really, really wanting to do my vision board. Like usually by now I have it done already and I really really want to do it. So I think I'm just going to try
无论我喜欢与否，无论它们是否有效，我不知道，但我们要真正尝试。
and just relax and do it on the couch.
就像，我真的想，你知道，也许尝试找一个治疗师。
So, I have my old vision board from last year. I'm going to take it apart and do my new one on this exact same board.
我不知道。这总是让我害怕的事情，但我想我需要尝试看看。"
It's kind of like a pin board. I also like use tape, but I think this year I'm going to use pins cuz the tape doesn't
是的。我觉得很感激我经历了那个经历，即使它很糟糕，
really work that well. But anyways, I'm going to take off all of these. I think I'm going to save and keep on maybe one or two of them that I want to continue
因为我有了一个小突破。我认为这将对未来有好处。
to keep on my vision board. But for most of the new 2026 pictures, I printed out a bunch from Pinterest that I hand selected when I was recovering. It
我对这个新的一年感到非常兴奋，因为我想我真的要重新掌控我的生活，
actually was good to keep my mind off of it. I just went on Pinterest and I found a bunch of pictures that closely portrayed my 2026 goals. Because on New
在各个方面掌控我的健康，思想、身体、灵魂。
Year's Eve, me and Sam wrote down a bunch of our New Year's resolutions and New Year's goals and all stuff like that and like things that we want to achieve
我想完全康复，在一个巨大的旅程中，把自己放在第一位，
this year. I wrote down like a very detailed list. So, I wanted my vision board this year to kind of portray that and be as detailed as it possibly could.
我的心理健康和我的真正健康，所有的一切，你知道吗？
My back is killing me. That was like really something I was not expecting.
我想真正停止逃避事情，因为你知道当他们说，
Well, once it happened, I kind of remember that last surgery. I felt this way when I was recovering, but I wasn't expecting the back pain that I feel.
在某种情况下，要么是战斗，要么是逃跑。
It's like as if I worked out my back all day long for 24 hours straight and then like it was the next day and I was sore
我一直是逃跑的那个。就像我会离开那里。眼不见，心不烦。
from the workout that I did. That's how it feels. like every part of me and like I can't even really stretch obviously.
我不会战斗。我会离开。
So, it just really hurts. And I've been literally on a heating pad for I don't even know how many hours in a row. I think I might need to go get it again.
无论那是把它从我的脑海中移除，不去想它，
But when Sam gets back from the gym, maybe he'll help me. I don't know. But I'm going to just try and chill and do my vision board. I'm going to maybe put
让我的情绪只是积累再积累，或者只是身体上，我不面对任何我需要面对的事情。
on my little sound frequencies that I like to listen to that are calming while I do it. I also like to cut up the pictures that I put on here
我想在2026年停止这样做。我想真正地正面处理事情，
so that way it looks cute and I can position them how I want. So that's kind of what I'm going to do right now.
照顾它们，不要为它们感到压力。我想感到平静。
>> >> Okay, guys. Here it is. My 2026 vision board all fall complete. I'm obsessed with it. I think it looks so so good.
所以，这让我来到今天。现在我感觉好一点了，我能够化点妆，
The only things I really kept the same were like these few because these have been well these two specifically have been on my vision boards for many years.
我还穿着睡衣，但没关系。我想舒适。
The exact photos and that's fine because I feel like these are just like more long-term goals that I know will take a little bit longer. Like hitting a
我想做一些能帮助我达到康复目标的事情。
million on YouTube is going to be crazy.
所以，今天我真的想清理，也许完全清理厨房和沙发。
Like I don't even know how long that will take me. But I will never give it up. So I'm going to keep it on my vision
我会给你们看。说实话，这是一个巨大的混乱，
board. Same with going to Italy. Like I don't care how long it takes me to achieve it. it will always be on my mission board. And just like a few
因为它现在已经是我的康复窝大约一周了。
others that I really liked always looking at, but most of them are different. So, here it is. I really love how it came out. The most annoying thing
Sam一直很有帮助。就像我不知道没有他我会在哪里，真的，
about recovering from a surgery, I think, is like, well, actually, no, I take that back before I even say it.
因为他不仅在身体上照顾我，还让我从这周所有的恐慌发作中平静下来，
There was a lot more annoying things than this, so let me just backtrack. But a annoying thing is how out of breath I feel like I get from like just talking
我想我打破了记录。我不知道总共有多少，
and saying a simple sentence. But me and Sam have obviously have just been he's been sitting with me all day long. So, we both really haven't done
但我肯定打破了某种记录。但我们把所有时间都花在这里了。
much and that definitely takes a toll on your body cuz like I feel like we're both so used to always working out and like go go go. Like I was telling them
我在沙发上睡了大约一周。我和Sam睡在这个沙发上，
before, I literally when I cleaned the kitchen didn't even really do much. Just put everything away and wipe it down. I was like literally felt like I worked
这不是最舒适的沙发。
out. I ate it. Sam has been the best ever. Just so many times I remember thinking like where would I be without you? I'm so happy that we're getting
所以，我也只是对他为我这样做感到非常感激，
>> You're gonna marry me.
因为我知道可能不舒服，但我和Sam都睡在这个沙发上。
>> You're not going to back out.
所以，这很乱。厨房到处都是东西。
>> Like you know when people say like you really know if you are marrying the right person >> when you like go through hard times
桌子，所有东西都需要整理一下。
>> and it's true.
我认为这对我来说是一个好的第一步，只是清理和重置家。
>> That's so sweet.
所以，这就是我们要处理的。我们得修复一个包装。
>> Yeah, we are sweet. We're going to make a nice Sunday dinner tonight. It's like pasta. Sam wants to make meatballs.
这就是我要做的。说实话，幸运的是，我的手臂活动能力很强。
>> I'm making balls.
就像上次手术，我真的不能移动我的手臂超过这个。
>> I say we, but it's really going to be Sam. Anywho, now that Sam is home and I finished the vision board, I think he's
但这次，我的手臂活动能力更强，我可以拿起东西，只要它们比5磅轻。
going to hang it for me because the one thing I didn't do last year, even in my old bedroom when I actually, yeah, in my
所以，我觉得我应该能够清理这个。
old bedroom, cuz I started 2025, still living at home, I never hung my Wait, no, yes, I did. What am I saying? We did hang the vision board up. It was in my
我只是要小心，我可能会像机器人一样移动一点，但没关系。